See the new blog!

I'm sorry to report that at least for now, I will no longer be posting on Sunflowers and Skyscrapers due to some site issues. The HTML coding for the design of this site somehow got messed up and is now broken. It will not harm your computer, but it will not allow me to fix the issue and I did not get any response from Google (the site host) on the problem. If you are an email subscriber, please link over to my new blog, Postcards by Rachel, and sign up again for that site through the side bar on the right hand side of the page. Thanks for being a devoted reader -- I think you'll like what I'm doing on the new blog!

#Runningfordad 5K Dash+Dine

We're winners! Not really, but we did both finish the 5K Dash+Dine race this morning to benefit United Way of the Plains, so we consider that winning. A group of Museum friends joined us for a great morning.

Think the shirts were bright enough? This was just past the finish line!

Go Team Ivan! Dillon Noller placed 3rd for his age category (impressive!).

This was Raymond's first 5K and I'm so proud of him. We've been making our way to the gym on a regular basis for about four months now and feeling great. We're a team, and we want to be a strong and healthy one!

Raymond: "I did it! Whoop!"

Finish line of his first 5K!

After graduation we created healthy goals to work towards together. Finishing a 5K together was one, and we've been trying to make more meals at home and eat less sugar and fat. After the first month we started to really feel the difference and more energy. I've been #runningfordad since April.

The cooler weather makes me want to go run around and do everything outside, so I'm glad we had the chance this morning while supporting United Way. They're a great organization in Wichita, and taking donations for their annual campaign right now.

Go team Ivan!

I said yes!

Well, he must of liked it.. because he put a ring on it!

That's right, much to my (and everyone else's surprise) Raymond proposed last weekend while we were visiting his family in St. Louis. If you know anything about us, you know that of course I said YES! He picked the ring and I could not be more thrilled with the new bling on my hand or my husband-to-be.



The only people around to take a picture took a blurry one, so... engagement selfie!

I know what you're asking. Do we have a date? No, of course not, he only just asked last week. There's a lot that goes into planning a wedding, and the first thing is to establish a budget. We're still working on that part before we make any decisions. The only thing I have picked is my dress, and that's because I worked in the bridal store for a couple years.



He picked it! I LOVE it, plus he got it at outlet prices -- so proud, I taught him to sale shop!

For any recently engaged gals, the most useful planning website I have found (other than Pinterest -- follow me here) is theknot.com. TheKnot allows you to set up a planning profile, and even has an app to help track check lists and budget sheets. I know this is going to be very helpful throughout the planning process, especially being able to log all wedding-related expenses via iPhone.

He proposed at the St. Louis World Fair Pavillion, and yes, he did get down on one knee! Are you married? We would love to hear your best planning tip or suggestion in making ours a life-long, happy marriage. Please leave a comment!

Yep, my ring looks great with a TREX! Here we come IVAN!

Moving Slowly

For weeks I have been attempting to write "Part 2" about losing my dad, and I just haven't been able to finish the post. I guess I took a hiatus from the blog because I felt I couldn't write about anything else until I finished adressing what happened in April. This week I realized that isn't true.

I'll write about April when I'm ready (which obviously just isn't yet). Every time I've sat down to write about those three weeks of hospice care I just become overwhelmed with grief and can't finish more than a couple paragraphs, most of which I delete the next time I look at the post. 

Grief is terrible and life consuming, and something that everyone deals with differently. I've slowly been learning this in the last five months. They say there are some general "stages" that most people go through when dealing with loss, and I still feel like I'm stuck in shock and disbelief. It was only this week that I really listened to loved ones who said that it's okay for me to feel like I just lost my dad yesterday.

My dad and I at Silver Dollar City, one of our favorite places to visit in summer and at Christmas time.

I have good days and bad days, but every day feels like a giant mountain to climb. I never used to feel like this before my dad died. Now, I feel maxed out on stress all the time and lose patience easily. The first few months after losing my dad I was extremely forgetful, which isn't like me. There were a few different days when I called Raymond after work to see what I should pick up from Walmart for dinner, and in the ten minute drive home I completely forgot to even go to the store.

Throughout college I filled my days with work and school from 8 a.m. to 10 p.m. and that was my normal. I handled it well, thrived on it even, but I simply cannot do those hours anymore. If there is one thing in particular I've realized I need in order to heal, it is time at home or the gym, away from other responsibilities or commitments, to focus on myself. For weeks I tried to deny this, feeling selfish, and my grief and feelings of stress grew to enormous levels. 

Exercise has helped, and in June Raymond and I started going to the gym six times a week. We haven't quite kept up that intensity throughout August, but we have at least made an effort. Several friends thought I was obsesive about the gym in June, but I needed something else to focus on and give my mind a break from 24/7 grief.

And it is 24/7. I can work, and socialize, and go to the gym, but it's always there. If you have never lost someone close to you, you probably don't understand. That's okay. I'm glad, for your sake, that you have never had to go through something like this, but I also ask your patience and kindness. There's no time limit on grief, although I read today that most people will only put up with your grief for about a month and that's the most they can handle. How could I have even started to deal with the loss of my dad in four short weeks? If you have dealt with serious grief, then you know what I'm saying... and thank you for understanding. 

I can go through daily life, working hard and trying to sleep, but that doesn't mean I've even barely started down the long path of dealing with this loss. Every season and year will bring different memories, which are lovely and painful at the same time. 

Sometimes these moments sneak up on me during a perfectly normal day. On Friday night I drove past a high school football game, and it reminded me that it is fall sports season (meaning golf). Immediately, just by driving past a back-to-school scrimmage, I was transported to a world full of golf memories with my dad. He was so busy at work, but he always made time to go to my tournaments.

My first golf tournament in college, my parents were so excited that they drove all the way to San Antonio to see me play.

Every day is just plain hard. I post this in hopes that other people I know who have lost a parent in the last year understand that they are not alone in feeling like every day is a struggle. 

Eleven Rainy Months

Losing my Dad, Part 1
by Rachel

I guess I'm ready to break the silence. Hello, world. If you would like to know what I've been posting to the internet in my absence here, please check out my work blog for the Museum of World Treasures.



My parents, photo taken June 2012 (two months after the first diagnosis).



There are many reasons why I haven't written a personal blog in so many months, and there are also reasons why the posts stopped so suddenly. 

My dad died. 

It is difficult to find sufficient words to describe the last year of my life, or even just the last six months since I came home from England. It's hard to make the words in this post even feel as if they are flowing together to form sentences, but at the same time I feel as if I could write an entire book about the most traumatic thing that has ever happened to me (my dad would tell me to stop being dramatic if I had said that out loud). As long as this post is, it is only a summary of the months leading up to the day the doctors told us it was time for hospice care. 

When we found out that my dad had cancer in April of 2012, there were so many questions and so few answers. Not only did he have cancer, but it was a rare and therefore less-researched kind (bile-duct cancer). What treatments could we do? How long would we have? Why was this happening to my dad, the most health-conscious and fitness-concerned man I know? 

The summer brought few answers, but some treatment options. He went to chemo at least twice a month but continued to work full time, or as much as he could, even with his laptop in bed in the hospital. He continued to work as he was able until the week we were told that the only option was hospice care. That was also the first week he took pain killers throughout the entire ordeal. 



My mom, dad, little sister, and myself in London November 2012.

 I struggled over the decision to go abroad, but at the time he seemed to be doing so well. We had hope that we could have as much as several years, although they would be filled with chemo and treatments. It was hard to leave, but I had faith things would be the same when I returned at Christmas, and my dad encouraged me to take the opportunity.

I will forever be grateful that my parents were able to come and visit me over Thanksgiving in England. For that week, I was able to show my dad a world of new and exciting things that he had only read about and seen pictures of. Together with my mom and little sister, we toured the Tower of London, drank Guinness in Ireland, and explored London by the Underground. My dad was struggling as the cancer and treatments took their tole, but hiding it from the world and doing his best to continue on as he always had. Over and over again he repeated throughout the last year that sometimes we cannot control what happens to us; what we can control is how we react and whether we allow things to devastate us or whether we continue to move forward and grow as human beings.



My dad and I when he came to visit me in London.


I came home on December 20 and had a wonderful Christmas with my family. We took our annual trip to Branson, MO, although we worried it was too cold for my dad. It was the last time we would all be together in Branson, the place where my parents cultivated years of precious family vacation memories. 



My parents celebrated Christmas in Branson with the entire family.

 Everything began to change quickly in January. I started my new job at the Museum of World Treasures, moved into a new house, and started classes in Kansas again. Unfortunately this time of change also marked the first time in 2013 that my dad went into the hospital. He was re-admitted time and time again throughout the weeks of January, February, and March as they fought various infections and problems associated with the cancer. 

It was chaotic and stressful for me to try and balance a new job, school, and needing to be with my family as much as possible. Sometimes I felt like I wasn't doing a very good job at any of those roles, but I did just as both my parents had always taught me to do: I fought on, sometimes blindly, and kept going.

Things got worse over the weeks. The days at the hospital began to outnumber the days at home, but we still had faith and my dad was ready to keep fighting to do whatever possible to beat the cancer, or at least live with the cancer. And up until the end I truly believed, with everything in me, that he was going to and that cancer was not going to take my dad from us at only 57 years old. 

The first weekend of spring break Raymond and I were scheduled to visit his family in St. Louis. My mom called the morning we were supposed to leave and asked me to cancel the trip. We found out that day that the unthinkable had happened: the doctors said there were no viable treatments left, and that they were recommending hospice care.

My family had already weathered many months, but that day the storm got worse.

Just make sure you roll up your car windows.

I think God decided I needed to slow down a little this week, because I was forced to take a sick day on  Monday and now I have a snow day for the afternoon and maybe tomorrow! I'm not objecting, I needed some time at home to pull things together (I haven't even gotten to hanging pictures yet).

Just make sure you are smart so that this does not happen to you (no I did not take this photo!)...

Thankfully I have a lot of work for the Museum that I can do right here at home, lounging in my sweatpants and slippers. Have you seen the Facebook or Twitter page? I spend a lot of time managing these and keeping content up to date. I'm also working on digital and print newsletters, as well as a short video to promote our new exhibit opening in March.

My dad has been in and out of the hospital for several weeks while the doctors try and figure out how to fight the bacteria in his bile duct. My family could really use some extra prayers right now as he keeps fighting to get well and the doctors keep trying new drug combinations.

DIY posts coming soon on how I'm decorating my bedroom as a renter.

Please, tell me how you are spending your snow day (if you're lucky enough to get one)!

When You're 22: Vintage shopping and BBQ!

Happy February!

Raymond and I had a great weekend, except that my dad was readmitted to the hospital yesterday. Hopefully we're on our way to figuring out what the reoccurring problem is and how to deal with it, but it sure is a painful process! Thankfully St. Francis is wonderful and even have a couch for guests to stay overnight with my Dad. We're so thankful for wonderful nurses and doctors that take care of him! What we are asking for now is prayer -- prayer for his health and wisdom for the doctors so that they can come up with a treatment plan that will be best for him.

Earlier in the weekend Raymond, our friend Kayla, and I had the chance to visit Allison who recently moved to Kansas City. It was a delight to see her and her new apartment (very modern chic). She also lives in a charming part of the city, full of young people and things to do!

Here we are reunited :)

We had all day Saturday to explore KC and walk through tons of vintage boutique shops. LOVE! I'm finally getting settled into my new place and I had a blast looking through the shops and getting decorating ideas. I always keep my eye out for a great bargain!

Of course before we left we had to get some Oklahoma Joes BBQ. Irresistible!

I'm in the process of decorating, so expect some DIY posts soon! I'm all over Pinterest and decorating on the cheap. I mean, who isn't?

Day complete success!

I've moved! I'm now the proud renter of my own beautiful duplex and finally been able to find a lot of things that were in boxes for six months.

Unpacking has been a slow process but something that has to be done. I look forward to the day I open the last box, because that's when I can start thinking about decorating and hanging things on the walls. THAT'S when the space will really start to feel like my own, BUT I did buy kitchen chairs today. That was exciting!

My dad was in the hospital the past few days with an infection but finally was able to go home tonight. I'm glad he is now in his own bed (I really hate to see him in the hospital).

Today was also my niece's first birthday. She's a groundhog baby and my sister threw her a lady bug themed party. She ate all the cake she was given to smash up! We love that little girl so much, she's brought so much joy into our lives within the last year.

Slowly things are falling into place. I'm getting settled in my new place, getting used to work and classes and figuring out a way to get everything done (but still see my family). I can't wait for graduation in May when I have a little extra time every week.

We've also started auditions for our final spring musical production at Newman University. I hope you plan to come see the show the last weekend of April, because it's going to be a great one. There is a lot of fantastic music planned and an interesting plot line.

Also, we sang for the reopening of the Cathedral this morning. It's a beautiful space and the choir sounded fantastic (I always love to sing with a symphony orchestra). If you're in Wichita you should check it out!

This is my mom and baby Peyton. She are that entire cake!

From lime green to "office blue:" taming down my office.

We've had some busy weeks since we returned to the states, including some moving, painting and new classes.

Raymond is living in an on-campus apartment this semester with a roommate. I'm moving into my own place this week! I'm excited to get organized and unpack boxes, but it will be a lot of work and I know I'm going to miss the comfort of being at my parent's house. I was away for so long that I have really appreciated being at home the past few weeks.

In other exciting news, Raymond and I painted my office over the weekend! Below you can see some ridiculous before and after pictures. Yes, it truly was lime green. We didn't quite finish, as I'm going to paint the trim white to match the door, but the blue is a vast improvement! It's not that I have anything against bright colors, but the lime green was too bright. Sometimes I wondered if I should be wearing sunglasses.

I really love my new workplace, especially the people I'm working with. It seems like there is never a dull moment, but also like I'm never going to be done "learning" my job. Every day I learn something new about marketing or the Museum, and I probably write down five to-do's for every one that I accomplish, but time will bring experience (and a vast history knowledge I had forgotten since Dr. Golden's World Civ class).

If you have never visited the Museum of World Treasures, please come see me! I'd love to give you a brief tour. If you're interested in what kinds of things I'm doing at work, "Like" the Facebook page! I update Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and several other sites for the Museum daily. Also, if you have been to the Museum before it would help me out a lot if you would write us a TripAdvisor, Google or Yelp review.

Can you believe it's already the end of January? Leave a comment letting us know how your classes are this semester or if you have any big plans for the Superbowl!

Our last 1st day of school!

Today was our last first day of school, at least until we decide on grad programs. How exciting! The best part of my day was seeing all our fantastic choir friends again after a very long break.

We missed singing with the Chorale and Troubadours, and now we're ready to jump right back in! Today we received some plans for the spring musical, and I can tell you it's going to be a great one. I can't wait to get into some of the music, and I'm so thankful for one last semester with the amazing group.

Some other exciting news is that thanks to the blessing of a couple amazing people, Raymond and I have the opportunity to go see Jersey Boys in a couple weeks! I cannot explain how much I love this show. We first saw it on Broadway in NYC, and we both fell in love! I'm giddy that we get to enjoy it another time.

Tomorrow I have my first science class in four years. Can you tell I'm a Communication major? Everyone keeps telling me not to worry about it, but it's been a really long time since my Sophomore high school Biology class! Can I get an Amen???

I've loved being at home with my family, but I'm moving into town at the end of the month so that I can be closer to school and work during the week. I'll miss sitting with my dad every night, the overly full fridge and my awesome mom who surprises me sometimes with a packed lunch (hey, sometimes it's okay to feel like you're still a kid). It's only a 20 minute drive though, so they won't be able to keep me out unless the change the locks. I love my family! :)

Check out Jersey Boys, it won't disappoint!

Big Announcement!

Raymond and I have had a few really exciting weeks since returning to the Midwest. He comes in on the 3am train early Sunday morning, and we start classes the next day. It's great getting back into things, but also a little exhausting!

I'm posting an update over my lunch hour at my NEW JOB that I absolutely LOVE. Since I've been here a week already, I think I can officially announce that I'm the new Marketing Assistant at the Museum of World Treasures in downtown Wichita. The team I'm working with is fantastic and I'm proud to get the chance to market this amazing Wichita gem! If you haven't been to visit in awhile, come on in! There were four exhibits redesigned in the last year.

I've been loving the weather in Kansas, as it's mostly dry and sunny. It is colder than England, but I have better hair days due to the dry air! Spring will be here before I know it, and I'll be planting flowers. I do love my tulips.

I know lots of students have already started classes this week. I actually just took my Finance final a couple days ago for one of my classes back in England! I have one more project to submit online, and I'll officially be done with those classes!

Something I missed while I was in England? Pandora Radio.

Check it out, I even have my name on the door!

3 things for the New Year

A new year, a fresh start! Welcome to 2013 everyone, for Raymond and I this year brings some big changes!

This year, Raymond and I are graduating from Newman University. We're stepping out of school and into the working world! On Monday I officially start my new job and a week later we start classes for our final semester.

Christmas break has been wonderful. We've both spent plenty of time with family, eaten a lot of delicious food, and prepared for the coming semester. I actually have two finals to finish still for my classes in England! Because those classes do not finish until the third week of January, my finance final isn't even available until next week!

In a couple weeks I'll be moving into my own place, but it's been nice to be at my parents for awhile. I missed my family while I was gone!

Our New Years resolutions: keep the adventure alive, establish careers, finish school! We would love to know what yours are!

Some of my favorite people :)

Lights, trees, and snow

After many weeks of traveling, I'm finally back in Wichita. It seemed fitting that Branson, MO, marked the end of summer and beginning of an adventure abroad, as well as my return home for Christmas.

My family has been to Branson every year for about a decade, sometimes more than once. I grew up with a lot of siblings, and Branson was a place we could all easily drive to and spend a few days without the distractions of home. We all looked forward to spending time at Silver Dollar City, especially at Christmas time. The park fills with millions of lights and trees, and this year it even snowed!

Branson served as a retreat for all of us, and after the year we've had it was the perfect chance to relax and spend time together. I'm so blessed to have such a close family, and I know we all relish the time together.

Although I was sad that once again I was not able to be with Raymond on his birthday, he had quite a feast of Imo's Pizza and cake! We'll have another celebration when he returns to Wichita for our last semester at Newman.

I start my new job on Monday, things are changing fast! It feels good to get back into school, work, and spending time with my family.

Happy New Year! My resolution? To make 2013 just as memorable as 2012.